Thursday, June 14, 2007

a liberal helping of change

Thus, the people who are the public voice of American liberalism rarely have any real connection to the ordinary working people whose interests they putatively champion. They tend instead to be well-off, college-educated yuppies from California or the East Coast, and hard as they try to worry about food stamps or veterans’ rights or securing federal assistance for heating oil bills, they invariably gravitate instead to things that actually matter to them – like the slick Al Gore documentary on global warming.

...

“Unfortunately, today, when you talk about the ‘American left,’” he says, “as often as not you’re talking about wealthy folks who are concerned about the environment (which is enormously important) who are concerned about women’s rights (which are enormously important) and who are concerned about gay rights (which are enormously important).

“But you’re not really referring to millions of workers who have lost their jobs because of disastrous trade agreements,” he says. “You’re not talking about waitresses who are working for four bucks an hour.” As often as not, he says, you’re talking about “sophisticated people who have money.”

...

A hell of a lot of what the left does these days is tediously lecture middle America about how wrong it is, loudly snorting at a stubbornly unchanging litany of Republican villains. There’s a weirdly indulgent tone to all of this Bush-bashing that goes on in lefty media, a tone that’s not only annoyingly predictable in its pervasiveness, but a turnoff to people who might have tuned in to that channel in search of something else.

...

Rich liberals protesting the establishment is absurd because they are the establishment; they’re just too embarrassed to admit it. When they start embracing their position of privilege and taking responsibility for the power they already have – striving to be the leaders of society they actually are, instead of playing at being aggrieved subjects – they’ll come across as wise and patriotic citizens, not like the terminally adolescent buffoons trapped in a corny sixties daydream they often seem to be now.

~ excerpts from the article The American Left's Silly Victim Complex by Matt Taibbi on Adbusters

~

This articles touches upon alot of what annoys me about "liberals" in contemporary American culture. It's quite cool and trendy to be liberal, and sometimes I'm tempted to call myself one. But I try to remind myself, that at the end of the day, regardless what I call myself, I am in a position of amazing privilege in this world. I am part of the establishment. I am part of the problem as much as I can potentially be part of the solution.

~

When we were done, I started wondering if we had accomplished anything. I started wondering whether we could actually change the world. I mean, of course we could -- we could change our buying habits, elect socially conscious representatives and that sort of thing, but I honestly don't believe we will be solving the greater human conflict with our efforts. The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been.

I am the problem.

I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. The problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest.

The thing I realized on the day we protested, was that it did me no good to protest America's responsibility in global poverty when I wasn't even giving money to my church, which has a terrific homeless ministry.

I tried to get my head around this idea, this idea that the problem of the universe lives within me. I can't think of anything more progressive than the embrace of this fundamental idea.

~ Donald Miller on leaving a protest against a World Bank meeting in Blue like Jazz

A man on a park bench in Rittenhouse Square spoke to me in a soft gentle voice today. He mentioned something about wanting to buy something at WaWa. I wasn't listening very closely. I don't like giving money. I don't like changing my plans for others. So I walked away, without hearing the rest of what he had to say. Heart hardened. No, not even hardened, just dead.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

making money matter more

(RED)

Because of some reading I was doing today on the (RED) campaign, I stumbled across Gap Inc.'s social responsibility page, which is full of fancy smooth language about their efforts in improving factory conditions. I'm wondering what to make of it, since most of the language is so vague I'm suspecting it's full of crap. (Check out what's written about the Gap at Responsible Shopper: http://www.coopamerica.org/programs/rs/profile.cfm?id=229)

There's a website/non-profit called Buy Less Crap that criticizes the (RED) campaign, which if I'm not mistaken, designates certain consumer items with RED, indicating that proceeds from the purchase of that item will be donated towards combating AIDS in Africa and other causes. Various news sources have highlighted the fact that more money was spent on these advertising campaigns than actually donated. However, other bloggers have indicated that there are residual effects from this campaign that are positive-- raising awareness of AIDS in Africa and increasing the connection between sales and corporate social responsibility.

So who knows whether Gap Inc. is honestly pursuing social responsibility or whether it's a slick cover-up of a really despairing truth or whether it's just another corporate strategy to sell more stuff? I don't think Dov Charney of American Apparel actually cares very much about social responsibility. I think he just found a good way to distinguish his line of clothing and make money. And philanthropy is an industry that sells moral feel-good and social status, but in the end, it funnels money to a variety of good causes. Perhaps in this broken world, we can't avoid broken ways altogether.*

If being socially responsible really means greater profits, then corporations will pursue that route and perhaps there will be some benefits to our society. So to some degree, I appreciate the fact that Gap Inc. is atleast trying to be vaguely "socially responsible" (let's be honest though-- minimum wage in Thailand isn't much), even if it may be more publicity than truth. It's a step in the right direction. *

But for us as consumers, we have to be careful that we don't just believe what the marketers say. We have to investigate deeper than some company's social responsibility website. And for us as individuals with agency, to remember Buy (Less) Crap's open invitation "Join us in rejecting the ti(RED) notion that shopping is a reasonable response to human suffering". Believe it or not, it's more effective to give money to a good cause directly than it is to give it indirectly via (RED).

*Though how do we go forward acknowledging the good that broken ways achieve, while still striving for better ways to do more good?



** All that being said, even if Gap Inc. were producing their clothing ethically, I don't particularly feel the urge to rush back into those store doors and start shopping. It's relieving to have an easy reason to say no to a store. My sweatshop-free year (it's almost been a year) may not have freed many indentured servants laboring in garment factories, but it's certainly helped free me a bit from the constant desire of wanting more, and is teaching me how to be content with what I have.
*** In the meantime, I've recently found a few garments in Zara produced in Cambodia, so their entire "stream-lined in Spain" doesn't seem to hold true. I'm disappointed.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

touchy subject


Being a financial analyst by occupation and a writer/reader at heart, I usually work with the substances that cannot be touched. Abstract numbers, thoughts and ideas, shuttling back and forth from computer screen to paper to words. It is work that I have to continuously interpret to others, with more words, in order to explain its value. Sometimes, it's just so refreshing to just be able to hold something in my hands and not feel obliged to say anything at all.




Tom Wolfe, in his novel The Bonfire of the Vanities, illustrates the simplicity and the intrinsic value of working with the tangible. Sherman McCoy is a hotshot bond salesman at one of the top investment banks in New York, but struggles to tell his daughter Campbell exactly what he does*:

"Daddy... what do you do?"
What did he do?
"Do? What do you mean, sweetheart?"
"Well, MacKenzie's daddy makes books, and he has eighty people working for him."
"Oh ho! Eighty people!" said Sherman's father, in the voice he used for small children. "My, my, my!"
Sherman could imagine what the Lion (his father) thought of Garland Reed. Garland had inherited his father's printing business and for ten years had done nothing with it but keep it alive. The "books" he "made" were printing jobs given him by the actual publishers and the products were as likely to be manuals, club rosters, corporate contracts, and annual reports as anything remotely literary. As for the eighty people-- eighty ink-stained wretches was more like it, typesetters, pressmen, and so forth. At the height of his career the Lion had had two hundred Wall Street lawyers under his whip, most of them Ivy League.
"But what do you do?" asked Campbell, now growing impatient. She wanted to get back to MacKenzie to give her report, and something impressive was clearly called for.
"Well, I deal in bonds, sweetheart. I buy them, I sell them, I --"
"What are bonds? What is deal?"
Now his mother began laughing. "You've got to do better than that, Sherman!"
"Well, honey, bonds are -- a bond is -- well, let me see, what's the best way to explain it to you."
"Explain it to me, too, Sherman," said his father. "I must have done 5000 leveraged purchase contracts, and I always fell asleep before I could figure out why anyone wanted the bonds."
"Your grandfather's only joking, honey." He shot his father a sharp look. "A bond is a way of loaning people money. Let's say you want to build a road, and it's not a little road but a big highway, like the highway we took up to Maine last summer. Or you want to build a big hospital. Well, that requires a lot of money, more money than you could ever get by just going to a bank. So what you do is, you issue what are called bonds."
"You build roads and hospitals, Daddy? That's what you do?"
Now both his father and mother started laughing. He gave them openly reproachful looks, which only made them merrier. His wife was smiling with what appeared to be a sympathetic twinkle.
"No, I don't actually build them, sweetheart. I handle the bonds, and the bonds are what make it possible-- "
"You help build them?"
"Well, in a way."
"Which ones?"
"Which ones?"
"You said roads and hospitals."
"Well, not any one specifically."
"The road to Maine?"




Later on, Sherman speaks to his wife who is an interior decorator for rich people.
"Well... atleast you're able to point to something you've done, something tangible, something clear-cut-- Even if it's for people who are shallow and vain, it's something real, something describable, something contributing to simple human satisfaction, no matter how meretricious and temporary, something you can at least explain to your children. I mean, at my company, what on earth do you tell each other you do every day?"




*This a cut excerpt from the novel. A lot of the detail has been eliminated. This is an excellent book by the way- page turner yet also an incredibly incisive social critique of New York in the eighties.
** Another notable quotable from the book: "She was thinking about the way men are in New York. Every time you go out with one, you have to sit there and listen to two or three hours of My Career first."
*** Perhaps these pictures are evidence of my only real achievements during my own New York sojourn.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

lost in television

Yesterday, Matt and I finally finished watching three seasons of Lost. We started watching early March, and have been watching through some sixty or so episodes in the last three months.

Though part of me longs to watch more and find out more about the show, the rest of me is relieved that this too is over. I have felt chained to the television for the last three months. It was fun and entertaining at first, an enjoyable activity that Matt and I could share with each other. But soon it became an all too easy and comfortable answer to the question "What should we do together?" And though we would spend hours together, we would feel like we had not spent any quality time together at all, since we had spent those hours staring passively at a television screen.

It was easy to get used to being entertained and letting the hours pass, instead of finding creative ways to spend meaningful time together. It was easy to slip into a mode where television controlled us and not the other way around.

Recently, Ray Bradbury clarified that his novel, Fahrenheit 451, which describes an authoritarian society where books are burned, is not about government censorship, but about the dulling effects of television. The government does not use televisions as a medium of control, but rather the people choose it as an easy opiate. The fireman in the novel says "We give them what they want".

Books require too much work, too much active engagement. Television is an easy answer to all the difficult questions we may have, because it allows us to forget about them and escape into the world of special effects and good-looking actors. And so the books burn.*

I am looking forward to life without a television and without Lost. No longer can I cope with my boredom or loneliness with a flip of a remote control, letting the colours and sounds wash over me. No longer can I forget about my fears and problems by distracting myself with some mediocore tv program. Instead, I might actually be able to find some real solutions.




* More on his website and in an article in the LA Times:.
** And by the way, I actually like Lost alot. I think it's a great show. I just didn't like how it semi-dominated all my free time for three whole months. :P

Thursday, May 31, 2007

money matters

Donors frequently exercise great concern when giving money away to nonprofits. They want to ensure that their dollars will be used well, and not whittled away in seemingly useless administrative activities, fundraising efforts and excessively high executive salaries. Perhaps for the peace of mind, donors often restrict their dollars for specific programs or projects (e.g. chairs for a classroom, the theatre program for lower-income children)*.

We seemed to be very concerned about where our nonprofit dollars go, not just because the lack of receiving something explicit in exchange leads us to cling psychologically to our donation, but also because to some degree, what we give our money to, defines us, shows us what we care for.

Yet we do not seem to even bother to think where the money we pay for other goods and services ends up. Somehow, when we purchase that good or service, we dissociate from having an interest in where that dollar goes. Do we care if it goes towards the mortgage on the $10 MM property purchased by some CEO enjoying the benefits of workers paid less than a dollar a day? Do we care if the company uses it to pay the penalties as a result of a civil action lawsuit, because of unethical marketing practices? Probably not. The money has left our hands. It’s no longer ours. We are no longer responsible. Money, the facilitator, the medium of exchange, accomplishes its goal. It has reduced us to individual consumers, who go home happy with our new shirts and gadgets, and the wonderful high of owning something new. Without even thinking, we relinquish our ability to be agents of change and to be people who care.

Remember, the way you spend your money will show what you care about, or, what you don’t care about it. Where your money is, so is your heart.

* People seem to do this to ensure that organizations use their money efficiently. Actually, restricting the money that you donate more often than not, reduces efficiency. But more on that in another day….

Friday, May 04, 2007

here's to philadelphia

One week before formally moving back to Philadelphia, I was riding a car through the "rough" streets of Philadelphia. Suddenly, the sense of place flooded back to me. I remembered spending my summer here. Walking past old men and women sitting on their porches in the scorching sunlight. Walking past the kids laughing with delight at the cold, refreshing water from the open fire hydrant. Walking past a group of young overweight mothers playing a game of cards. And sensing beneath that deceiving appearance of idyllic calm (What gave it away? Was it the broken glass on the streets? The metal bars on the windows?), the hopelessness that lives in those streets.

Every city is has a different dark spirit hovering over it. New York is dominated by greed, Washington DC oppressed by power, and Philadelphia sinks slowly under despair. "Soul-stirring desolation" writes Jonathan Franzen.

Yet as I ride the train and watch the changing and growing skyline of Philadelphia, I can’t help but smile. I walk past the Schuylkill river, meander through Penn campus, eat lunch with a building maintenance man in Rittenhouse square and walk to 30th street station in a cool summer evening. Coming back to Philadelphia feels like slipping back into a comfortable winter coat, one that will hopefully warm me from the biting cold.

Here's to a city for which I can care, rejoice and mourn.
Here's to a city for which I can hope.

(A feeling of place. A feeling of home. It's good to be living back in Philadelphia.)

Saturday, April 28, 2007

end of a season

Yesterday was my last day as a financial services strategy consultant.*

No more lucrative year end bonuses. No more free museum passes and theatre discounts. No more fancy four course dinners. No more platinum status at 5 star hotels with marble countertops. No more $3000 monthly rent apartments in the ritziest part of town. No more racking up crazy amounts of airline miles. No more dimmed window, white glove driver, black car services. No more living on company expenses. No more guaranteed top business school admission.

I have decided to leave the fast-track to success and financial stability.
I feel free.*

Two years and I could have paid off all my debt. Three years and I could have saved up enough money to go to graduate school. Four years and maybe I could even be fairly well off and probably able to get a good lucrative job in management at any financial services firm.

It would have been good. But what good would that have done me?

So I am cutting myself off from that which does not give me life, before I am wined and dined to death.

* I reiterate: often times the best choices in life are the ones you are most afraid are taking. I have the privilege of choice. (I was not born into poverty nor slavery. I was born into a loving and well-educated family). That choice is not be whittled away on choosing security over joy.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

when words lose their meaning (3.5)

work/life balance

a snazzy catch phrase used by corporations to indicate that their employees are expected to work a lot. if the standard hours were 9 to 5, there would be no need to mention "work/life balance"

work - a word often confused with 'career'. work means exerting effort to accomplish something. but what? people talk about wanting to "accomplish something in their lives", to look back at their careers and note their milestones and achievements. but what do we accomplish in work? aside from using it as a means to an ends (a comfortable lifestyle, lining our nests and earning us prestige). aside from a game where money and goods get shifted around from one white glove to another. aside from perpetuating a system that sustains our status in the current hierarchy of privilege. (we're organization kids. we don't question authority).

life - in new york, life means some mindless form of consumption. an endless proliferation of restaurants, clubs, shows and events (accompanied by the frequent complaint of things not being good enough). it also means taking cabs to where you need to go. nice apartment. life means the frequent gathering of a diverse group of people, meaning an ethnically diverse group of upper middle class young professionals. life means taking a dance class, or picking up a hobby, such as a cooking (oddly enough, wasn't it once a neccessity?). maybe life means getting married and having kids and moving to the suburbs. what does it mean to live well?

a slash divides work from life - as though life begins when work ends. as though work can never be considered integrally as part of our lives. as though work is something we discard and leave behind us as soon as we leave the office. as though we're free not to question what we do at work, and the rest of our values, because work is something separate, divided, forever locked in a compartment away from life. (and yet we still seek fulfillment in work? instead of life? is achievement confined only to the sphere of career?)

balance - this firm has good work/life balance - you wake up at 5am to catch a 6:30am flight. you groggily walk into client site at 8:30am and continue working, eating lunch at your desk, until 8:30pm where you then catch a cab to some ritzy hotel where you then may order overpriced room service and eat like a queen while you watch images flash on a flatscreen tv. thus your week continues with a similar pattern, perhaps interspersed with dinner at a fancy restaurant then thursday rolls around and you fly out on a 5:30pm or 6:30pm flight on Thursday to arrive home at 8pm or 9pm. if you're lucky, it's earlier than when you'd arrive at the hotel normally. then on fridays you work in the office so you get to see all your colleagues who have been packed off to the four corners of the world, and by the end of the day if your work is done, you head over to happy hour. and yes, because you went to happy hour, you are happy. though you work like a donkey during the week, the alcohol makes you forget all about it. good work/life balance. is it not all relative? what does work/life balance mean?



*Note: This entry is not meant to be a bitter, personal lash-out against my experience at my firm. Compared to what is expected at the firm and what hours are like at other investment banks or consulting firms, my hours have been very good, and my job managers and colleagues have treated me well. The last part of this entry comes as an expression of disillusionment with the general industry expectation that a 55 hour work week + travel is normal and acceptable and allows for plenty of time to engage in other "life" activities (and that in some cases, it's okay to make your employees work 100 hour weeks). It is the general "spirit" of the industry, not the individuals (though individuals inevitably subscribe to and participate in this spirit) that I have found difficult. That and my persistent idealist confused questioning of "what does this all amount to?"

**Some say that by creating new products to meet customer needs, or by freeing up money in capital marketes, we're allowing for increased standard of living. But are we assuming that people are simple-minded consumers, that will be happier and more fulfilled the more they buy? Others say that increased business and competition will mean better prices and products for consumers. Do we just say these things to make ourselves feel better? I don't know. If you have real answers, please find me.

Monday, April 16, 2007

when words do not have enough meaning

perhaps we have a moment of silence in memory of victims because words are not enough.

yet whenever something like this happens, we seem to crave more words, more images, more video feeds, more opinions, more interviews, more information-- until our sudden consciousness of the brevity of life can be stored away as last week's news.


* for the Virginia Tech shootings that took place today
** i am shocked. i am sad. i feel helpless. i wish i had something more than words, because i know they bring no comfort to those who lost loved ones today.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

when words lose their meaning (4)

I'm sick of postmodernism*

I don't want to sit around having discourse on hegemony, disapora, mimesis, hybridity, fragmentation, semiotics, dialectics and identity construction. I don't want to keep asking questions that do not have answers. I don't want to keep asking questions for the sake of asking questions.

I don't just want to talk about justice, love, truth, wholeness and life. (I don't just want to talk about justice as an equality of potential contingent upon cultural and historical positioning, or love as a consummation of libidinal impulses, or truth as a negotiation and production of reality through texts, or the definition of a lifestyle of wholeness as a totalizing normalization of certain codes of behaviour that creates the category of the deviant, or life as the perpetuation of social practices, simultaneously constituted by and acting upon the biological form as a medium of transmission.)

I want Justice, Love, Truth, Wholeness and Life.

I'm sick of postmodernism.
Disguising itself as the champion of the oppressed, the vindicator of critical thought and the herald of intellectual honesty, it quickly disintegrates into complacent consumerism and words that don't mean anything anymore.

It is a poor substitute for Justice, Love, and other things that I desire.**



*Thoughts and brief academic catchphrases inspired by The Rise and Fall of Literature.
**That is, when I'm not too busy desiring other things such as a nice haircut, a comfortable apartment with hardwood floors, a new pair of shoes, and a plasma screen TV.


(When everything is said and done, nothing is really said, and nothing has been done that has not been undone).

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

real choices: stop before you shop

20 hour workdays. regular beatings. child labour. indentured servitude. rape.

Details
The children are forced to work 12-14 hours a day, with some shifts going 20-hours. In all of September, these child laborers got just one day off. For the grueling long shifts, they are allowed only about four hours of sleep on the factory floor before being awakened and put back on the machines, sometimes collapsing from exhaustion. Their wages are as low as six cents an hour. They are routinely slapped or beaten if they don't meet their production goals, make mistakes, or even take too long in the bathroom. - "At the Western garment factory, which made fleece jackets for Walmart, there were 14 or 15-year-old kids working 18 or 20 hour shifts," he said. "They worked from 8:00 in the morning until midnight or until 4:00 a.m. And they did this seven days a week. They did not get paid for first four months of 2006, they did not receive one cent in wages. They were working as slave labor. When they passed out they were struck by rulers to wake them up. There were four girls who were raped by management." - "You're supposed to say that this factory is closed on Fridays and that no one works here at night. If anyone tells the buyer otherwise, then the company will fire them.” - He admits factory workers sometimes do have to put in extra long hours, for instance when deadlines are looming and fabric deliveries are late. They have little choice, he says, meet the deadline or American companies could take their business elsewhere. - "We used to start at 8 in the morning, and we'd work until midnight, 1 or 2 a.m., seven days a week. When we were in Bangladesh they promised us we would receive $120 a month, but in the five months I was there I only got one month's salary and that was just $50." - Hazrat Ali, 25, who worked from September 2004 to March 2005 at the Al Shahaed factory, said he sometimes worked 48 hours in a row and received no pay for the six months. - "If we asked for money, they hit us," he said.

Culprits
Sears. Walmart. Kohl's. Fila. Victoria's Secret. Express. Ralph Lauren. DKNY. Calvin Klein. Banana Republic. The list goes on.

Hope?
This is the garment industry and how most of your clothing is made. I'm not one for sensational accounts, but the injustices involved in making our clothing has angered me a great deal.

When we buy without questioning from stores that outsource to sweatshops, we are participating in these injustices. The ignorance and complacency of the elite (because by the fact that we have computers and are literate, are the elite), is causing the suffering of the masses.

Plenty argue that sweatshops are a necessary step towards development in third world countries. Or that without these factories, these workers would be worst off. But how much worse can you get than this? These workers' lives could be substantially different with a hardly perceptible impact on cost. I am seriously angry! It's times like these when I can begin to understand why God's anger burns against the violence on the earth. There is no excuse for these abominations. Workers can be paid more without actually cutting into profits. There are better ways to "globalize". American retailers (especially the large ones) need to put more pressure and oversight to ensure good working conditions in sweatshops. And as the end customers to these products, we're in a unique position of power to pressure retailers to action.

A few thoughts:
"If the American retailers paid only 25 cents more per garment, the total in Bangladesh would be $898 million- more than eight times current US aid."
Or as Dov Charney, head of American Apparel, a garment company that pays its workers double minimum wage + benefits, once mentioned: "My labour cost in LA is about 60 cents a T-shirt. In a prison in China it's zero cents. But when you're selling T-shirts for £18, what is 60 cents? It's nothing."

On the bright side, there has been some news of progress, though abuses continue. If anything, this shouldn't excuse us from forgetting about it, but should rather give us more hope that there are huge improvements in this generation that can be made, and that our actions are all the more important. It may not happen overnight, and it may require a long, patient effort, but changes can be made.

Action (please consider it!)
Any or all of these will be of help (You may not do any of it perfectly but it's better to have 10,000 people who are imperfectly committed and vocal than none at all):
1. Don't shop at places that use sweatshop labour. There are a list of reputable retailers at the bottom of this entry that I will eventually add to my sidebar. (On a personal note, Mariya and I have been commiting and trying our best to not buy sweatshop made clothing. If you'd like to join us, in encouraging one another and giving each other ideas about cool places to shop, please post a comment or email me :) ).
2. Spread the word. Raise awareness. Post this on your blog. Write more blog entries.
3. Write letters. Call customer service lines...especially to the larger retailers that have more bargaining power. Get involved with activism groups.
4. Buy Fair Trade or union made clothing. That way you can actually support third world development.
5. If you're a college student or lacking in funds, and can't always afford the slightly higher prices that these stores offer, try Goodwill or the Salvation Army. Great prices, always good finds. And even better: they employ people who were formerly in prison, or are disabled, giving them an opportunity to work and earn money.

Places to shop
American Apparel
Zara (Here's a cnn article on their business model)
Moo Shoes (Vegan and sweatshop free!)
Goodwill
Salvation Army

More articles on the topic
Dateline NBC: Human cost behind bargain shopping
JORDAN: An Ugly Side of Free Trade - Sweatshops
Children Found Sewing Clothing For Wal-Mart, Hanes & Other U.S. & European Companies
A quick overview of different companies and their ethical practices
More articles found here at the National Labor Committee:
http://www.nlcnet.org/news_room.php


*Note: This is not to say that I'm some super ethical shopper. I have my ignorant and complacent moments too. I walk into the store and see something that looks pretty and feels good and I forget about the lives, or the loss of lives that went into the making of that garment. Or, I find myself desperately in need of underwear, and feel like I can't bite the budget to pay more. My attempt to not buy anything made in sweatshops has been recent (the past year), and it's been and still is a process. Though one thing that I have found encouraging, is the longer I do it, the easier it seems to become, and I am looking to get involved with more letter writing/activism.
**Something else to consider, though please don't use it as an excuse for buying from places that use sweatshop labour. (If enough of us do it, then they will have to change. The question is -- will enough of us care enough to change our habits?): "One misconception is that the sweatshop problem can be avoided by not buying from a few major brands. As Hearson notes: 'It's not about the big bad guys any more. Now it's more about moving the entire industry. The difficulties are structural.' Instead of trying to achieve a level of purity in their personal purchases, he argues that consumers need to pressure companies they patronize and large buyers like universities to make more concerted efforts to raise standards--for example by participating in initiatives such as the Ethical Trading Initiative in the UK and the Workers' Rights Consortium in the US. As one important aspect of this, corporations must make a commitment to help employees improve substandard factories, rather than 'cutting and running' when abuses are reported. 'We have to recognize that a company that is doing well on the issue is not necessarily sweatshop-free,' Hearson says. 'It is one that is acknowledging the problem and engaging with worker groups and other stakeholders. If we want improvements across the industry, it's not going to happen overnight.'" from http://www.democracyuprising.com/articles/2006/fair_trade_sweatshops.php

Sunday, April 01, 2007

when words lose their meaning (3)*

It's funny how sometimes investment bankers or consultants talk about being afraid of "getting used to their lifestyle" and not being able to change jobs later.

What kind of life is there when you work 80 hours a week?**

*to be continued
**And what does all this work amount to? Some company's stock price may go up by 3/4 of a cent. A lot of rich men might be happy.

Friday, March 16, 2007

when words lose their meaning (2)

The problem with most good things is that they can become so easily perverted.

Books that offer a fount of understanding, enjoyment and knowledge become another form of distracting entertainment. Sleep that restfully strengthens us becomes an activity for withdrawal and escape. (And laughingly in my case, the productive craft of knitting becomes a substitute for self-centered consumption.)

We are so easily turned from agents, individual who choose, to passive recipients, individuals whose lives are controlled by their fears and their environment. Arguably in that case, we are no longer individuals.

Do not value money for any more nor any less than its worth; it is a good servant but a bad master.

~ Alexander Dumas

Books can speak to us like God, like men or like the noise of the city we live in. They speak to us like God when they bring us light and peace and fill us with silence. They speak to us like God when we desire never to leave them. They speak to us like men when we desire to hear them again. They speak to us like the noise of the city when they hold us captive by a weariness that tells us nothing, gives us no peace, and no support, nothing to remember, and yet will not let us escape.

Books that speak like God speak with too much authority to entertain us. Those that speak like good men hold us by their human charm; we grow by finding ourselves in them. They teach us to know ourselves better by recognizing ourselves in another.

Books that speak like the noise of the multitudes reduce us to despair by the sheer weight of their emptiness. They entertain us like the lights of the city streets at night, by hopes they cannot fulfill.

~ Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

Thursday, March 15, 2007

new york book review (1)*

sometimes, consultants have time to read

My reading has dwindled down this year. With my eyes tired from the glare of the computer screen, my mind either exhausted from debugging computer code, or perhaps numbed from not exercising certain portions of it, and with a sense of confusion and disorientation from constant travel, I often find it hard to focus on a book. Or maybe that’s because I was smart enough to pick books that aren't easy, suspenseful reads (guilty: The Trial by Franz Kafka; Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf). But I have to say, sitting on the plane today, reading Kazuo Ishiguro’s Remains of the Day, brought back that delightful joy of narrative. For a while, I was only vaguely aware that I was sitting on a plane, slowly descending over misty rain and dense orange lights scattered across New York City. For a moment, I escaped the repeated experience of a slightly anxious and distracting journey from city to city, through cab rides, security, boarding lines and stowing items into overhead compartments.

All that melodrama being said, here’s the backlog of book reviews since I have started life in the ‘real world’. Also, since I’m no longer required to read, I no longer finish books. Those are italicized. I hope to maybe finish them someday, but it may not happen. Books I actually finished reading are bolded.

Fiction

V for Vendetta by Alan Moore ~ The comic book behind the movie. The comic book is actually quite enjoyable, and I prefer it to the actual movie, because the ending is far more ambiguous and realistic.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera ~ I appreciate Kundera’s poetic reflections on philosophical questions that are posed alongside the story. The narrative itself is decent, but nothing spectacular, concerned with recounting the meaningless lives of people, as though some meaning could be elicited from the act of retelling….

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe ~ This book was enjoyable to read, but didn’t really live up to all my expectations. I think there was a blurb on the back that compared this to Iliad. I’ve never read the Iliad, but I didn’t find such mythic qualities to it. That being said, if my expectations were lower, I would have enjoyed it much more.

White Noise by Don Delillo ~ I really enjoyed this book about a Hitler studies professor and the airborne toxic event. Witty, intelligent and very bleak. Satirizes the academy and today’s consumer society and information overload.

2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke ~ The book that was written alongside the Kubrick film does a much better job of filling in the details that the movie leaves in the dark.

2010: Space Odyssey II by Arthur C. Clarke ~ I really really enjoyed this book. It’s a must-read for any science fiction fan. Beautiful and incredibly surprising ending, as well as some wonderful descriptions of life on one of Jupiter’s moons, on Jupiter etc…

2061: Odyssey Three by Arthur C. Clarke ~ Just as the title might suggest something rather uninventive, the novel is decent, but nothing particularly groundbreaking.

Sophie’s World: A Novel about the History of Philosophy by Jostein Gaarder ~ The plot is cute but expected, though I do remember being really surprised by it when I read it back in high school or middle school. This book took me some two months of Delta Shuttle flights to finish reading, but was a great refresher/explainer of philosophy ideas.

3001: The Final Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke ~ This book contains only about 50 pages of actual continuation of the storyline, the rest seems to be Clarke’s detour into describing the future—one in which the comforts of a technologically-advanced society have stripped humanity of any real meaning in life, except a lengthy enjoyment of simulated pleasures. Nevertheless, his descriptions are absolutely fabulous to read, especially if you’re into descriptions of strange worlds (e.g. The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury). I read this on the plane to California.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini ~ This doesn’t quite contain the strong cultural and archetype qualities of Things Fall Apart, but it does have a strong, engrossing narrative. I have to admit, sometimes I become a little wary of all this minority literature. That being said, I still think this book is well written, and avoids lengthy ruminations on identity and hybridity. It is instead more about ‘returning to the homeland’ and dealing with the past.

The Trial by Franz Kafka ~ I got through the first 70 pages. This book is rather slow paced. I might try and return to read it again, but for now, I can’t really comment on it.

Great Jones Street by Don Delillo ~ I started reading this book because my boyfriend played a show on Great Jones Street in NY—but I’m stuck about halfway through this book right now. Props though for providing pretty vivid descriptions of Great Jones Street—which now looks nothing like what was described in the book.

Non fiction/Cultural commentary

Comodify your Dissent: Salvos from the Baffler with Thomas frank, Matt Weiland as editors ~ The ideas in this book are nothing mindblowing, but it is an excellent collection of commentary on today’s technological and information society-- in particular the domestication of rebellion and dissent into consumption—written in a style far superior to anything that you could ever produce.

Is there meaning in this text? by Kevin Vanhoozer ~ The first part of this book summarizes the history of intellectual thought on authorship and textual meaning, focusing in particular on the postmodern death of the author and the death of meaning. It’s quite clear and easy to understand. I haven’t gotten yet to the part where Vanhoozer elaborates his own thesis .... so there's not much more that I can say.

Christian (I’m sorry, about 80% of them have stupid titles).

Bringing heaven down to earth: connecting this life to the next by Nathan Bierma ~ Written by a blogger, concerning the Christian’s call to bring heaven down to earth. I read a few chapters here and there, mostly because I was attracted when I heard that Bierma noticed that the Bible begins in a garden and ends in a city. Heaven is urban.

Should I Get Married? by Blaine Smith ~ The book addresses the question of the title by illuminating a few key issues to consider. The first part of this book is excellent—the most important question it asks concerning marriage is “Do you have compassion on the other person?” and “Are you good friends?”. The second part of the book gets weird with these random rules that don’t make any sense, and seem incongruent with the rest of it.

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Schazerro ~ Despite the fact that the title and the style of the book hugely smack of that despised genre of ‘Christian self-help’, the book is actually really good. It talks about how spiritual maturity in the way that Christians tend to conceive of it (lots of praying, lots of Bible studies, lots of service etc…) does not always translate into emotional maturity. This book explores daily Biblical devotions and contemplation as a way of learning to live an abundant life as a healthy, whole individual.

The Great Divorce by C.S Lewis ~ I sometimes catch myself wondering if C.S. Lewis’s books will become outdated—that they will only speak strongly to his generation, and some already-converts of mine. Yet rereading the Great Divorce reminds me that there is something timeless about C.S.Lewis’ writing, that hopefully can speak to many, if not, all generations and cultures. His vision of Heaven and Hell give incredible insight into the nature of human suffering and hell.

Love Yourself & Love is a Feeling to be Learned by Walter Trobisch~ Despite a tacky title that would suggest a cheesy new age self-help book, Love Yourself explores the necessity of loving ourselves (something that Christians often avoid… in the name of humility) in order to truly love others. Love is a Feeling to be Learned elaborates that true love is also suffering, not just fluffy pink hearts.

Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton ~ Thomas Merton seems to be another contemplative genius, that is especially applicable to our generation. I’m about halfway through this book, but find that I have to spend a whole day just thinking about what is said in one page. Notably, Merton comments: “When men are merely submerge in a mass of impersonal human beings pushed around by automatic force,s they lose their true humanity, their integrity, their ability to love, their capacity for self-determination. When society is made up of men who know no interior solitude, it can no longer be held together by love: and consequently it is held together by a violent and abusive authority.

I’ve also made a list of potential reads for the next month or so: Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe (it’s an embarrassment that someone who did so much postcolonial literature still has not read this book), American Gods by Neil Gaiman (I have to have my science fiction/fantasy light reads!), Blindness by Jose Saramago (interesting premise….), The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco (I just keep hearing about this book).

*if the guy in High Fidelity can arrange his record collection autobiographically, then I can list my books the same way…


Monday, March 05, 2007

you are what you buy*

Plagued by the mundaneness of our 'New Jersey'/middle class origins, [no, my father did not beat my mother; and no, there were never drive-by shootings in my neighborhood, and no, half my high school class did not get pregnant and drop out of high school], we are driven to consumption in order to compensate for our dull lives and common white collar professions. When we are unable to find satisfaction in our work, we often seek it in the objects and experiences we can buy. We become what we buy.

“The thing about new things is you feel new when you buy them, you feel as though as though you are somebody different because you own something different. We are our possessions, you know.”

~ Blue like Jazz**

We are what we do to the extent that what we do enables us to buy more. Higher paying professions (lawyers, consultants, doctors etc…) give us the income to make respectable purchases of interestingness that being an elementary school teacher does not afford. You’re interesting if you’re a consultant that has traveled the world. You're interesting if you're an investment banker living in a stylish apartment in midtown and are able to go to a different restaurant and nightclub every weekend. You're interesting if you're some top executive and have the money to pick up an extravagant hobby like flying airplanes. But you're definitely not interesting if you’re an elementary school teacher-- unless of course, you work in an inner city neighborhood with Teach for America or some other non-profit, because it’s cool to be 'into poor people'.

*This is one of perhaps a backlog of 15-30 blog entries that are unfinished. I figured, I should just give up, and start posting them….

**On a side note, Intervarsity Press has recently launched a new line of books, called ‘Likewise’, which are sort… of books designed for the postmodern generation. The writing styles are much more similar to Blue like Jazz, edgy, casual, more open for debate and discussion etc… Though I feel there is value in publishing these books, as books contain ideas and ideas ought to be disseminated (:P)-- All the marketing just makes me feel like a niche market. Luckily, our calling is to something much greater than that, whereas everything else in our society would seem to tell me, that is all I am.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

when words lose their meaning (1)

Atrocities is such an empty word. Journalists love it. You hear it everyday on the news. You hear it mentioned concerning the events of human history both past and present. The atrocities of Darfur. The atrocities of Rwanda. The atrocities of the Holocaust. And so on and so forth. Does it mean anything any more? Does it mean anything more than a four syllable sound that you hear coming from your plasma screen television, causing you to pause ever so momentarily before you return to eating your dinner?

Friday, February 23, 2007

there are trees and these are splinters

"She preferred not to think about such things"

~ paraphrase from y tu mama tambien

strange the way death potentially unravels the meaning we spend a lifetime trying to make. undone in a moment...

.... Eliot's poetry is not a question of meaning in the first place. The meaning of a poem for Eliot was a fairly trifling matter. It was, he once remarked, like the piece of meat which the burglar throws to the guard dog to keep him occupied. In true symbolist fashion, Eliot was interested in what a poem did, not in what it said—in the resonance of the signifier, the echoes of its archetypes, the ghostly associations haunting its grains and textures, the stealthy, subliminal workings of its unconscious. Meaning was for the birds, or perhaps for the petit bourgeoisie. Eliot was a primitivist as well as a sophisticate, a writer who made guerrilla raids on the collective unconscious. For all his intellectualism, he was averse to rationality. Meaning in his poetry is like the mysterious figure who walks beside you in The Waste Land, vanishing when you look at it straight. When Raine enquires of a couple of lines in one of Eliot's poems whether we are supposed to be in a brothel, the only answer which would be true to Eliot's own aesthetic is that we are in a poem...

~ Terry Eagleton

Sunday, February 18, 2007

of long obediences in the same direction

Those who seek fulfillment in adultery have little hope in love.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

work that speaks for itself*

scattered thoughts on knitting**

As a privileged white collar worker, repetitive manual labour is not a burden. After hours of producing digitized pages of data, screens of code, and stacks of written decks, it is refreshing to slowly and meticulously create something physical and tangible.

There are no hard and fast deadlines. Though it is always satisfying to hold a finished product in your hand, much of the fulfillment comes from watching the fabric emerge from your fingertips, stitch by stitch, inch by inch.

I don't need to interpret my work. I don't have to explain how it creates value. The work speaks for itself.


It is tragic that our society has devalued manual labour and turned it into a commodity... alienated workers hunched over rows and rows of sewing machines. Is anyone else nostalgic for times when craftmanship was still common? For times when people designed, laboured and ultimately created with their own hands. And when that process of creation was not endless toil for survival, but a joyful engagement of the mind and body-- But I think I am nostalgic for times that never existed. (That's why I say, I have the privilege of enjoying manual labour, because I am not sweating 80 hours a week cleaning toilets in order to pay the bills)

In any case, I just don't want this craft to turn into a justified excuse for me to bolster my wardrobe, since in my endless knitting blog browsing, I've seen far too many people take knitting as an alternate form of consumerism-- something that I can easily see myself becoming. I would like to knit in order to give. To give to those in needs. Or to give to friends and family and implicitly say, 'I spent 60 hours (or more!) making this for you."


*this is also for teri who taught me how to knit
** this could also be called - reflections of an "N" knitter
*** the photos are of half of the sweater I am currently working on for http://www.knitforkids.org. (my 3rd official project, 4th one if you count my disaster pot-holders/dish rags.)

Monday, February 12, 2007

why new york is so unhappy

The large points first: Most happiness researchers agree that being surrounded by friends and family is one of the most crucial determinants of our well-being. Yet New York, as surprisingly neighborly a city as it is, is still predicated on a certain principle of atomization. Being married would help in this instance, obviously. But New York City’s percentage of unmarried adults is nine points higher than the national average, at 52 percent.

Then there’s the question of the hedonic treadmill, such a demonic little term, so vivid, so apt. Isn’t that what New York, the city of 24-hour gyms, is? More charitably put, one could say that New York is a city of aspirants, the destination people come to to realize dreams. And of course we should feel indebted to the world’s dreamers (and I thank each and every one, for creating jet travel, indoor plumbing, The Simpsons), but there’s a line between heartfelt aspiration and a mindless state of yearning. Darrin McMahon, the author of Happiness: A History, shrewdly points out that the Big Apple is a perfect moniker for the city: “The apple is the cause of the fall of human happiness,” he says. “It’s the symbol of that desire for something more. Even though paradise was paradise, they were still restless.”

Which is where the subtle thesis of Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox of Choice comes in. He argues, with terrible persuasiveness, that a superabundance of options is not a blessing but a certain recipe for madness. Nowhere do people have more choices than in New York. “New Yorkers should probably be the most unhappy people on the planet,” says Schwartz, a psychology professor at Swarthmore. “On every block, there’s a lifetime’s worth of opportunities. And if I’m right, either they won’t be able to choose or they will choose, and they’ll be convinced they chose badly.”

Economists have a term for those who seek out the best options in life. They call them maximizers. And maximizers, in practically every study one can find, are far more miserable than people who are willing to make do (economists call these people satisficers). “My suspicion,” says Schwartz, “is that all this choice creates maximizers.” If that’s the case, New York doesn’t just attract ambitious neurotics; it creates them. It also creates desires for things we don’t need—which, not coincidentally, is the business of Madison Avenue—and, as a corollary, pointless regrets, turning us all into a city of counterfactual historians, men and women who obsessively imagine different and better outcomes for ourselves.

~ excerpts from an article I didn't finish reading because it was too long, but seems to have some fairly good things to say

New York is an unhappy place because it trades the deep and meaningful relationships for endless nights of restaurants, clubbing, bar hopping, and consumption of 'interesting things to do' and 'interesting things to see.' It is precisely, a city of interminable choice. It is a city for consumers. You come here. You take what you can get out of it and you leave (and probably go to Jersey). *

New York is not a city of neighbours. (Who knows their neighbours?) Neighbours care about the place where they live. People don't come to New York because they want to contribute to making this place better, help the homeless or get to know the people who live next door to them. No, they come here because they want to experience New York City. To soak up its sights, its sounds, its foods, its drinks, its clothes, its people and then return to their overpriced, shoe-box sized apartments..... But if you are constantly taking, you are inevitably going to leave empty.

It is with cities as it is with sex. We seek the physical city and find only an agglomeration of private cells. In the city as nowhere else we are reminded that we are individuals, units. Yet the idea of the city remains; it is the god of the city that we pursue, in vain.

Its heart must have lain somewhere. But the god of the city was elusive. The tram was filled with individuals, each man returning to his own cell.

V.S. Naipaul wrote that about London. Perhaps this is also true about New York. Except every city has a different god. For New York, the glittering, flashing billboard forever reminds you that if you buy the rights things, see the right shows and go to the right restaurants, you will indeed experience New York City.... **


* Obviously, I'm not saying that everyone has no true friends in New York. In fact, alot of people I know have close friends in the city. But what I'm referring to, is a general spirit of the city, and the millions of people that come filtering in (and out) each year.
**
But what is New York City? Does it even exist? Is it not just an elusive idea? A vain myth? If you follow the chain of signs, you'll soon seen that it only returns back to itself, and never leads to anywhere real.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

the most important thing

[2] the ramblings of a not-so-single girl before Valentine’s Day [2]

the most important thing i have learned from being in a relationship is how to forgive.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

the best decisions

usually the best choices in life are the ones that we are most scared of taking. they feel a bit like stepping off the firm edge of a rock cliff, into a hazy, insubstantial fog. but really, we just have what is solid and what is mist confused.

Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.
Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who equip yourselves with burning torches!
Walk by the light of your fire, and by the torches that you have kindled! This you have from my hand: you shall lie down in torment.

~ Isaiah 50

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

a time for machetes

This is a book review on A Time for Machetes by journalist Jean Hatzfield. (The book review is called On Evil, is by Theodore Dalrymple and is found in the New English Review). A Time for Machetes is based on various interviews Hatzfield had with perpetrators and victims of the genocide. Here’s simply more evidence that we are all capable of doing tremendous wrong (and that just because we’re all capable, does not make us not responsible):

I have long been preoccupied by the problem of evil. Not being a philosopher, I have no satisfactory explanation of evil to offer, nor even, indeed, a satisfactory definition of it. For me, evil is rather like poetry was for Doctor Johnson: easier to say what it isn’t than what it is. All I know for certain is that there’s a lot of it about - evil, I mean, not poetry.

Why? Is the heart of man irredeemably evil, or at any rate inclined to evil? What are the conditions in which evil may flourish?

My medical practice, admittedly of a peculiar kind, in a slum and in a prison, convinced me of the prevalence of evil. I was surprised. I had spent a number of years in countries wracked by civil wars and thereby deprived of even minimal social order, precisely the conditions in which one might expect evil to be widely committed, if only because in such situations the worst come to the fore. But nothing prepared me for the sheer malignity, the joy in doing wrong, of so many of my compatriots, when finally I returned home. Every day in my office I would hear of men who tortured women - torture is not too strong a word - or commit the basest acts of intimidation, oppression and violence, with every appearance of satisfaction and enjoyment. I would once have taken the opening sentence of Adam Smith’s Theory of Moral Sentiments for a truism:

How selfish soever man may be supposed, there is evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it except the pleasure of seeing it.

But now I no longer think it is even a truth, let alone a truism. I would be more inclined to write:

How good soever man may be supposed, there is evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the suffering of others… etc., etc.

I have seen so much, both at home and abroad, that I am not easily taken aback. When you have heard of baby-sitters who impale babies on railings in order to quieten them during a televised football match, or of men who suspend their girlfriends by their ankles from the fifteenth floor balcony, and this kind of thing daily for many years, you develop a kind of emotional carapace. One almost begins to take a pride in one’s own unsociability, which one takes to be a kind of sophistication. It is a form of spiritual pride, I suppose. Still, I nevertheless read a book that shocked me. It was about the Rwandan genocide, called A Time for Machetes, by a French journalist called Jean Hatzfeld. He interviewed several men who had taken part in the genocide, probably the most murderous in human history, at least in terms of numbers of deaths per day while it lasted, and were now imprisoned. One of them was under sentence of death.

As it happens, I had been to Rwanda only a handful of years before the genocide. I was travelling across Africa by public transport, so that I could see African life from below, as it were. I passed through several extraordinary countries, for example Equatorial Guinea, where the first (democratically elected) president after independence from Spain had been overthrown and executed by his nephew. Francisco Macias Nguema was one of the great unsung political monsters of the Twentieth Century, the century par excellence of political monsters. He kept the national treasury under his bed, had all people who wore eyeglasses executed on the grounds that they were dangerous intellectuals, introduced forced unpaid labour and killed or drove into exile a third of the population. His nephew who overthrew him, who until then had been his accomplice, was somewhat of an improvement, though still a dictator (and to this day is President): whenever he left the capital, the power supply was switched off as no longer being necessary.

I am ashamed now of the superficiality of my understanding of Rwanda of those days. I knew, of course, that Burundi (through which I had also just travelled) and Rwanda were mirror images of one another: that in Burundi it was the Tutsi minority that massacred the Hutu people, whereas in Rwanda it was the other way round, and that it was rather difficult to decide who had started this most vicious of vicious circles. But by comparison with many African countries, Rwanda seemed a well-run state, comparatively uncorrupt, its people industrious to a fault, and far from wretchedly poor, despite being one of the most densely populated countries in Africa, if not the world, with an astonishingly high natality. I knew, of course, that it was a dictatorship, the dictator being Major-General Juvenal Habyarimana, and that every Rwandan, ex officio as it were, was a member of the one party of the one-party state, the Mouvement national revolutionnaire pour le developpement (MNRD), from birth. But at the time, I was not very optimistic that multi-party politics, of the kind that the dictator was forced to introduce in 1991, would necessarily represent an improvement. In a way, I was right: the most efficient slaughter in human history took place three years later.

In that slaughter, in the space of three months, neighbours killed without compunction those with whom they had been friendly all their lives, only because they were of the different, and reputedly opposing, ethnic designation. They used no high-tech means, only clubs and machetes. Women and children were not spared; husbands of mixed marriages killed wives, and vice versa. The participation of the general population in the slaughter was its most remarkable feature: usually in mass murder, it is the state that does the killing, or rather the state’s agents, since the state is an abstraction without an existence independent of those who work for it. Hatzfeld, the African correspondent of the French left-wing newspaper, Liberation, went to interview some of the perpetrators a few years after the genocide. They were friends who took part in the murder (if that is not too slight a word for it) of 50,000 of the 59,000 Tutsis who lived in their commune.

Oddly enough, being in prison gave them the ability to talk about what they had done, if not honestly, at least with some degree of freedom. I do not know to what degree Hatzfeld, who interviewed them individually and at length, edited the transcript of his interviews, and of course we have no way of knowing how representative his witnesses are: but their testimony is perhaps the most startling ever committed to paper.

There is no real remorse for what they did, only regret that it landed them in their current predicament. They feel more sorry for themselves than for their victims, or the survivors. They are not even altogether unhappy in prison, and look forward to resuming their lives where they left off (before the genocide) as if nothing too much had really happened - or should I say been done by them? They hoped for, and expected, forgiveness on the part of the survivors, amongst whom they would have to return to live, because resentment and bitterness are useless emotions and because they (the perpetrators) had all been gripped by a collective madness. This, of course, absolved them in large part from personal responsibility.

For three months, the men would get up, have a hearty breakfast, gather together, and then go on hunting expeditions of their former neighbours, who had fled to the nearby marshes. They would hack anyone they found to death; and then, when the whistle blew in the evening for them to stop their ‘work’ (they regarded it as such), they returned home, had a quick wash, had dinner and socialised in a jolly way over a few beers. Their wives would be - for the most part, though not universally - content, because Tutsi property was thoroughly looted, and distributed according to the individual efficiency and ruthlessness of the killers. One of the most haunting things in this book, if it is possible to pick anything out in particular, is that many of the victims did not so much as cry out when caught by the murderous genocidaires: they died in complete silence, as if speech and the human voice were now completely worthless, redundant, beside the point. I have often wondered why the people went into the gas chambers silently, without fighting back, but I suppose that when you witness absolute human evil committed by the people with whom you once lived, and who, at least metaphysically, are just like you, you see no point in the struggle for existence. Non-existence, perhaps, seems preferable to existence.

The murderers were pleased with their work, they thought of all the corrugated iron roofing, cattle and so forth that they were ‘earning’ by it. They had never been so prosperous as during this period of slaughter and looting. Unaccustomed to eating meat very often (the Tutsi were pastoralists, the Hutu cultivators), they gorged themselves upon it, like hyenas finding an abandoned kill in the bush. Very few were their pauses for thought.

Let us not console ourselves with the thought that these were unsophisticated Africans, without the mental capacity to know better: in short, mere savages. Again, I do not know how much Hatzfeld has edited their words, but his perpetrator interlocutors seem to me more articulate than most of the people with whom I have had to deal in Britain as patients over the last decade and a half. Indeed, their language occasionally becomes poetic: though poetic language in this circumstance is mere euphemism.

Besides, the few comments of the survivors, mostly women, that Hatzfeld inserts into the text, are of considerable moral and intellectual sophistication, and certainly not those of unreflecting primitives with few powers of cerebration. Here is Edith, a Tutsi schoolteacher, on the question of forgiveness:

'I know that all the Hutus who killed so calmly cannot be sincere when they beg pardon, even of the Lord. [Many now pray fervently: the Rwandans were fervently religious long before the genocide.] But me, I am ready to forgive. It is not a denial of the harm they did, not a betrayal of the Tutsis, not an easy way out. It is so that I will not suffer my whole life asking myself why they tried to cut me. [Cut is the euphemism used by victim and perpetrator alike for ‘kill,’ since most of the death was dealt with a machete.] I do not want to live in remorse and fear from being Tutsi. If I do not forgive them, it is I alone who suffers and frets and cannot sleep… I yearn for peace in my body. I really must find tranquillity. I have to sweep fear far away from me, even if I do not believe their soothing words.'

Francine, a Tutsi farm woman and shopkeeper, on the other hand, says this:

'Sometimes, when I sit alone in a chair on my veranda, I imagine this possibility: one far-off day, a local man comes slowly up to me and says, ‘Bonjour, Francine, I have come to speak to you. So, I am the one who cut your mama and your little sisters. I want to ask your forgiveness.’ Well, to that person I cannot reply anything good. A man may ask for forgiveness if he has one Primus [beer] too many and then beats his wife. But if he has worked at killing for a whole month, even on Sundays, whatever can he hope to be forgiven for? We must simply go back to living, since life has so decided… We shall return to drawing water together, to exchanging neighbourly words, to selling grain to one another. In twenty years, fifty years, there will perhaps be boys and girls who will learn about the genocide in books. For us, though, it is impossible to forgive.'

No, it is impossible to console ourselves with the thought that the Rwandans are so different from us that they and their experiences have nothing to say to us. Edith and Francine are, indeed, more dignified, more articulate, more intelligently reflective, than most of the victims of small-scale evil in an English slum whom I have met.

This book penetrates deeper into the heart of evil than any other I have ever read. The author makes no claims for his work: he is still mystified by it himself. But if you want to know what depths man can sink to - an important thing to know, when your argument is that things are so bad that they cannot get any worse, so prudence is unnecessary - read this book. At the very least, it will put your worries into perspective.

Monday, January 15, 2007

simulated intimacy*

[1] the ramblings of a not-so-single girl before Valentine’s Day [1]**


But in all that casual sex, there was one moment I learnt to dread more than any other. I dreaded it not out of fear that the sex would be bad, but out of fear that it would be good. If the sex was good, then, even if I knew in my heart that the relationship wouldn’t work, I would still feel as though the act had bonded me with my sex partner in a deeper way than we had been bonded before. It’s in the nature of sex to awaken deep emotions within us, emotions that are unwelcome when one is trying to keep it light.

On such nights the worst moment was when it was all over. Suddenly I was jarred back to earth. Then I’d lie back and feel bereft. He would still be there, and if I was really lucky, he’d lie down next to me. Yet, I couldn’t help feeling like the spell had been broken. We could nuzzle or giggle or we could fall asleep in each other’s arms but I knew it was play acting and so did he. We weren’t really intimate — it had just been a game. The circus had left town.

Whatever Greer and her ilk might say I’ve tried their philosophy — that a woman can shag like a man — and it doesn’t work. We’re not built like that. Women are built for bonding. We are vessels and we seek to be filled. For that reason, however much we try and convince ourselves that it isn’t so, sex will always leave us feeling empty unless we are certain that we are loved, that the act is part of a bigger picture that we are loved for our whole selves not just our bodies.

...

Our culture — both in the media via programmes such as Sex and the City and in everyday interactions — relentlessly puts forth the idea that lust is a way station on the road to love. It isn’t. It left me with a brittle facade incapable of real intimacy. Occasionally a man would tell me I appeared hard, which surprised me as I thought I was so vulnerable. In truth, underneath my attempts to appear bubbly, I was hard — it was the only way I could cope with what I was doing to my self and my body.

...

The misguided, hedonistic philosophy which urges young women into this kind of behaviour harms both men and women; but it is particularly damaging to women, as it pressures them to subvert their deepest emotional desires. The champions of the sexual revolution are cynical. They know in their tin hearts that casual sex doesn’t make women happy. That’s why they feel the need continually to promote it.

~ excerpts from Casual sex is a con: women just aren't like men, written by Dawn Eden***, the author of The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On


sex is more than just physical.
sex is spiritual.


*please see the simulated experience of sex which in retrospect should probably have been called the simulated experience of love....
**to see last year's version of this, please go here and press 'previous' to scroll through the whole series. (there are four total)
*** please read the comments to this post. i've been informed that dawn eden is a scam :P


Sunday, January 14, 2007

i'm a cliche

consultant bio continued...

I just recently realized that I'm a walking cliche. I'm a consultant in New York City. I knit. I'm 'into poor people'. I'm dating a guy in a rock band. I listen to obscure independent and international music. I like artsy movies. I've traveled to some not-so-common places like Honduras and Argentina.

I'm your cliche young professional/recent graduate, high-powered ready-to-climb-corporate-ladder by day and trying-hard-to-be-interesting by night.

Am I someone who, because she works the same job that everyone else in New York works, obsessively tries to amass 'interesting' points via her after-hours activities?

...or, am I someone who is trying to learn to love the poor because Jesus identifies with the poor (and who doesn't succeed all that often), who likes to knit because it's enjoyable to do manual labor and to create something with one's own hands. and who, despite the overlooming shadow of financial instability, really loves the guy in the rock band?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

least of these

Just as the health of a society can be calibrated by the welfare of its most outcast*, so the character of a person can also be measured or she treats the least and the lowest.

[janitors, maids, street-sweepers, waitors, bellmen, taxi drivers, prostitutes, drug dealers, drug addicts, elderly people, homeless, illegal immigrants, day laborers, thieves, murderers, jesus]

The righteous will answer him, saying 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?'

And [Jesus] will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these, you did it to me.'

~ from Matthew 25

*Does anyone remember the exact quote?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

update

my little excursion to Christmas and Urbana has left me a little behind on my 'one-blog-entry-per-week' goals, so here's a little personal update:

*christmas in philadelphia was delightful :)

*i was also there in st. louis. here's proof:





*going forward, i am staffed in washington, dc for the next four months. new york/philadelphia on weekends.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

thoughts on hope

I feel like hope is a word rarely used in its fullest sense in today’s conversation. We hope that some guy might like us back. We hope that we might get that promising job offer. We hope that we will get an A on that last test we took. We always hope for things that remain in the realm of possibility. If it does not seem likely, we prefer not to hope. Instead of hoping and risking disappointing, we resign ourselves to accepting that it cannot happen, and settle for something less.

Perhaps this accords better with the dictionary definition: to cherish a desire with anticipation; to desire with expectation of obtainment; to expect with confidence: TRUST.

But is it really hope to eagerly expect something that we can see? To await something that we’re pretty sure that we can achieve?

At the very least, I know that as Christians, we can actually hope (in fact, we must hope) for more than what seems attainable by human means, because our hope is based in a God who can do immeasurably more than what we ask for or even imagine. When we do not hope, or hope for little, it is not that we are being realistic, but that we lack faith.

Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our own lifetime, therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history, therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone, therefore we must be saved by love.

~ Thomas Merton

Cowardice keeps us ‘double minded’ – hesitating between the world and God. In this hesitation, there is no true faith – faith remains an opinion. We are never certain, because we never quite give in to the authority of an invisible God. This hesitation is the death of hope. We never let go of those visible supports which, we well know, must one day surely fail us. And this hesitation makes true prayer impossible – it never quite dares to ask for anything, or if it asks, it is so uncertain of being heard that in the very act of asking, it surreptitiously seeks by human prudence to construct a make-shift answer.

What is the use of praying if at the very moment of prayer, we have so little confidence in God that we are busy planning our own kind of answer to prayer?


~ Thomas Merton

Hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

~ Romans 8:24-25

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

~ Hebrews 11:1